Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Rock On: Advice from Eastwood (7 items)

By , Deseret News

Feb. 10, 2014

CHEESY RETORTS

Things got scary, last week, when the director of the Pebble Beach Pro-Am began choking on a cube of cheese at a dinner party. But who should come to the rescue?

Dirty Harry himself.

Clint Eastwood performed the Heimlich maneuver on Steve John.

John said in an Associated Press story that he was unable to breathe but Eastwood was quick to react. “He recognized it immediately and saved my life.”

There’s been much speculation as to what Eastwood could have said afterward, i.e. “made my day,” “do ya feel lucky,” etc.

Rock On prefers the sage advice of the outlaw Josey Wales: “Dyin’ ain’t much of a livin’, boy.”

1 of 7. AU REVOIR, OLYMPICS

A poll conducted by Dan Jones & Associates and the Eccles School of Business shows that 92 percent of Utahns believe the state benefited from hosting the Olympics in 2002.

Eighty-two percent support bidding to get the games back.

A hundred percent of French skating judges allegedly prefer the games elsewhere.

2 of 7. GOT MILK?

The Utah Jazz are conducting an open talent search for acts to use during halftime.

This is good news for Rock On.

Does snorting milk through his nostrils qualify as entertainment?

3 of 7. WHAT A COUNTRY

Visitors to the Sochi Olympics were dismayed to learn some media hotel rooms weren’t finished and didn’t even have doorknobs.

Apparently Russian President Vladimir Putin chalked it up to the country’s “new open door policy.”

4 of 7. ICE MELT

Jack Finarelli, of the Sports Curmudgeon, regarding Russia’s unpreparedness for the Sochi Games: “Buried under that avalanche of bad news is a hidden horror for these games: They just invented TEAM FIGURE SKATING.”

5 of 7. SHARED SPACE

American Sage Kostenburg after winning gold in slopestyle: “I kind of do random stuff all the time, never make a plan up.”

That sounds remarkably like Rock On’s mission statement.