Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Rock On: How to get Hornacek back, and BYU's Eric Mika seems to be aging fast (6 items)

By , Deseret News

Feb. 24, 2014

BEGINNING BID

News reports say the Cleveland Browns offered draft picks to the San Francisco 49ers in exchange for coach Jim Harbaugh, but were rebuffed.

The 49ers labeled false an earlier report that said they had considered the swap. Cleveland issued a vague statement about being satisfied with its current coach.

With all the draft picks the Jazz are accumulating, you have to wonder: that’s how they plan to get Jeff Hornacek back to Utah?

Email: rock@desnews.com; Twitter: @therockmonster; Blog: Rockmonster Unplugged

1 of 6. NAMING NAMES

And people thought Beef ‘O’ Brady’s Bowl was an awkward name.

A handful of universities have begun endowing coaching positions. Most recently, Michigan’s Brady Hoke became the J. Ira and Nicki Harris Family Head Football Coach.

As in, “It was a good win,” said J. Ira and Nicki Harris Family Head Football Coach Brady Hoke.

Rock On thinks this is an outstanding idea.

Just so long as they start attaching names to losses, too.

2 of 6. CALORIE COUNTING

Three Oklahoma football players who ate extra pasta at a graduation banquet were self-reported by the team.

The Sooners contacted the NCAA about the incident, which happened last May. However, the governing body said there is no rule on consumption amounts.

Since at least two of the perpetrators were 300-pound offensive linemen, shouldn’t the first call have been to Weight Watchers?

3 of 6. TIME TRAVEL

BYU center Eric Mika came off the bench in Thursday’s win over Gonzaga, but due to foul problems, played just 24 minutes.

“I was looking at it and I didn’t realize I only played 24 minutes. I felt like I played 40,” he said. “I was getting beat up for 24 minutes, so it felt like … 60 minutes.”

Using that formula, Mika’s body has already played a full season, served an LDS mission, and is halfway through his sophomore year.

4 of 6. MATTER OF TASTE

Gold medal Olympic snowboarder Sage Kotsenburg tweeted that he wished the medals were made of bacon.

Weird, because Rock On wishes all his bacon were made of gold.

5 of 6. LAUGH TRACK

The New York Daily News says the Clowns of America are worried about dwindling membership, which could lead to a nationwide shortage of performers.

However, sources say the clowns plan to bolster membership by merging with the association of NFL replacement refs.
1. TheFork
Spanish Fork, UT,
Feb. 25, 2014

Rock on Rock! I love your humor--your ability to see events in a different light. Your columns are better than the comics. Keep it coming, please.